Mind Over Matter

someone once's told me...

If you can solve your problem,
then what is the need of worrying?
If you cannot solve it,
then what is the use of worrying?

i know i worry too much sometimes. it happens when u have too much time to urself - especially late at night when u cant sleep - counting every sheep there is..

u start worrying where u gonna be in 5 years time
- whats gonna happen in 10 years time -
15 years time
- 20 years time.

i mean i cant know all that.
i cant plan my life that long.
i dont even know for sure if i get to live THAT long.
and yeah.. i dont know how.

i dont even know whats gonna happen 1 year down the road.
how the hell am i supposed to plan what i want in 5 years time?
the scarriest thing is that - i dont even have a random idea.
not even a general idea.
i should have that by now, right?

the one thing about me is that i'm not a planner.
i can plan something tomorrow, and yet, i can still find a good reason to blow it.
if i wanted too.

when i was still in uni, my dad wrote to me:
- i was in my worry-phase then.

there are alot of alternative lives you could pick up as soon as you are ready to soar in the world. brooding about some life that you might have a-wee bit glimpsed and staked out for - would only hold you back on the myriads of potentials before you - wait for a while until the film of blindness fades away - and you'll wonder why you ever bothered at all.

i didnt understand it back then. not fully anyway. but i printed it out anyway and kept it in my scrap book together with millions of other memories i dun want to forget.

it was only few years later when i finally get what he's trying to say.

i know there are a lot of stuff thats bothering me now just not worth the mind-games. some times i can psyche myself saying so -

mind over matter.

well, for the sake of keeping the wrinkles away - i have to stop worrying about unnecessary stuff.
so - thats what im gonna do.

yup - thats about it.