My Sister's Keeper

based on Jodi Piccoult's novel. same title.

i cried when i read the book.
but i think i cried harder when i watched the movie just now.

with actual sob! sob! sob!
damn..

the movie, as in the book, are narrated by all the characters. they each had their chance to tell their side of their story.

its basically about a girl. whom is engineered with the combination of the perfect chromosome or dna or cells - or whatever it is you medical geeks call it - of her parents to be the perfect specimen to be a match donor for her sister's dying condition.

and she sued her parents for medical emancipation. i.e. the right to her body. the right to decide.

blah blah blah.

looking at the movie or the book, whichever it is, from a larger scale .. it is all about letting go.

its about letting go of something that you hold on for so long. that you fought for - for so long that nothing else seems to matter but that you fight to the end of your breath.

its the metaphor of it that makes me cry harder than anything.

letting go of something is never easy. but at times, one need to learn how to let go. even if its the last thing we wanted to do.

is it really worth it to fight to the end of your breath?

i really dont know anymore.

but i guess, its about time.
dont you think?

well, we shall see.

over and out.

imagine..

at times.. a smell.. especially that peachy smell can transport me back into a place in the past. i realized that once when my colleague sprayed that into the air..

and it hits me..
and i remember a face. a feeling.

*i bought a lemon airspray the very next day*

at times, a song.. a certain song can still make me go all quiet if it caught me off guard.

and i'll remember a face. a feeling.

a smell.
a song.
and your heart goes dub dub. dub dub.

now imagine a situation.

imagine that face.
imagine that laugh.
imagine that smile.
imagine that eyes.

now imagine. ..
if that imagination is not even an imagination.

imagine if u get that ONE moment.
that ONE time to re-live that moment.
a situation that was once a present.
now no longer a past.

what do you do?
what do you say?

what if..
after everything said and done, you cant remember anything?
but that you laughed like never before.
and that you smiled like u r meant to smile.
and that you feel what you felt.

imagine that.

F : Its funny to be here. Like old times.
M : why?
F : Funny how life works out.
M : Funny how it doesnt.

a certain situation sometimes feeds to your imagination.

Goodnite Mr President : F
Goodnite Mrs President : M
Mrs? typo? Mdm? Ms? : F
MRS.. : M

now.. imagine if you are only imagining.

imagine that.

.. ash

as predicted... they woke me up at 6am..
blardy hell....

ashton brought with him his book of animals..

SK: *yawn* ok.. read for ati-na *yawn*

ASH: A-L-L-I-G-A-T-O-R..

SK: *open eyes* *impressed* wahhhhh.. so pandai..

*clap.clap.clap*

SK: wats that?


ASH: crocodile!!!
.
.
.
SK: wat the...
.
.
.
.
.
la'er.

... home alone

well.. not exactly.. but right this minute, it feels like it.

it over 2 in the morning.. and i cant sleep.. not like i tried anyway.. but i dont even feel sleepy.. and everybody else is sleeping..

:(

anyway, when we reached kk airport just now.. my big bro and li'l caitlyn were waiting for us at the arrival.. and she's just the cutest thing ever.. smiling away.. feel like biting her.. but wouldnt want to be caught abusing little girls..

then we went for makan at damai... of course the place that i usually wanted to go packed like hell.. so, we settled for the one beside it.. with only one table occupied.. that says alot already.. so, needless to say, i didnt get my craving fulfilled... yup..

:(

but there's still tomorrow.. so.. no complains there..

when we reached home.. i went upstairs straightaway.. LK was limpang-ing watching The Covenant.. ahhhh.. my Caleb is ON.. but it was almost finishing.. and Exorcism of Emily Rose is on next.. so.. i cant actually sit around in front of the TV watching that.. im not gonna have my nightmare while im home.. im sleeping ALONE for goodness sake.. so thats not a very good idea..

anyway.. funniest thing.. joshua came out from the room.. wide awake!! and he saw me.. he said "hi...."

alaa... didnt see him since august.. and now he's all grown up already.. can go school already ohhh..

SK: cum.. hug ati-na..

xoxoxoxoxo..... also feel like biting him.. *bite.bite.bite*

LK: nah.. jagala kau.. dia tunggu present dia tu..

damn..

i didnt get the chance to buy anything for this trip.. i've been so busy.. that i didnt think its that important.. it was the last thing in my mind actually. afterall, me being home is present enough already.. dun u think??

JSG: Mummy.. where's my present??

yup.. i heard that.. cilaka!! wat u think i muntah present meh??

i left my luggage unopen until he decides to sleep.. cant disappoint the little one now, can we?

well.. looks like i had to get up early tomorrow to buy the little ones something.. just so i stay in their book as their BEST AUNT in the whole wide world ever.. not that im not one already..

hehehhe...

by the way.. my connection is fast!!.. its wifi baby... nice... so.. i can get connected anywhere now in the house.. i can be in the toilet now for all u know..

not that im there.. but i can.. hahhaha..

so.. to VSK and MK whom are all the way accross the sea.. too bad eugene.. u guys are missing out alot..

i dun even need to on my alarm here.. coz.. i can bet my life.. both ash & josh will knock on my door as early as possible.. i hope they dun have the habit waking up at 6am.. otherwise.. adalah kena rotan ni.. hahahha..

well... update again later..

havent taken pictures yet..

just for the record ...

SK: say I LOVE YOU...

Caitlyn: wuv yu...

:)

*bite. bite. bite*

LK: perasan la ko..

*joykiller*

:)

la'er.

something b4 tomorrow..

im literally drowning....

its too much work too little time.. no matter how many hours i put in it.. seems like more and more is coming.. and my mental capacity is reaching its all time high capacity workout. otherwise known as tahap gaban.. its burning out..

im burning out..
im burnt out -

and i need this weekend to build up whatever system that is that contributed to my staying power these whole time..

taking half day tomorrow and an off day on monday.. cant imagine going off during the busiest time.. cant help it.. the off days were planned long time ago.

having that out of the way.. i cant wait for tomorrow..
yay!!!



ati-na is going home.

:)

*i wish*

if there's one superpower i wish i have now
- and if only my fairy godmother is not forever on sick leave..
- and if only my guardian angel is not busy with some other mortal..

there's only one thing i kinda *need* right now.

- its the ability to read mind..

even if its thru sms or online or email or hp..
yup.. a superpower to go beyond all that..
thru every modern technology there is..

no mind games.
no reading wrong message.
no reading wrong body language.
no headache.
no wondering.
no analysing on every small details.

wouldn't it be nice??

i'll even give up my wish to win that million dollar jackpot if i can have this wish.

ermm..

well. i think so.
but for now..

God... overpassing all my fairygodmother and guardian angel..
can i like have it?

one week can?

ugh.