i've been trying to blog for weeks now.. its not like i have nothing to share.. but im trying very hard not to turn this blog - this particular blog that is.. into a dear diary thingy..
it would be different if im anonymous.. and i missed those days when i can say my heart out here with no one knowing it was me.
but im gonna.
just this once.
so bear with me for a while.
truth is.. im going through my bits of depression at the moment. my heart is in its constant 'dub dub dub dub..' faster than its normal rate. i initially thought that what i needed was a good long weekend.. a longggg very long sleep.. and finally i had that.. and guess what.. the minute i woke up.. that 'dub dub - dub dub' feeling start all over again.. the sleep doesnt help. the rest doesnt help.
there's something needed to be done. im just not sure what it.
life is just starting. and im dreading the looks of it.
im starting to get restless with the life here. with work. with what is expected.
i feel like screaming on top of my voice. to let it all out.
im angry. but im not sure what im angry at.
im sad. but there's nothing really for me to be sad about.
im dissapointed. not just with everything. but at me. with me.
someone may feel the need to ask someone very close to me, 'wtf is wrong with this woman?'
and that someone - i think - should stop doing just that.
sometimes, people blog about themselves without the need of hearing it outside being repeated. being asked. being analysed. being interpreted into something else altogether. being discussed.
ask inside your head if u had to.
analyse inside your head if u had to.
interprete inside your head if u had to.
discuss inside your head if u had to.
i need to work on my self-esteem.
but thats just me.
and its not about you - understanding the need of it.
this is me letting some part of it out.
lets leave it at that.it would be different if im anonymous.. and i missed those days when i can say my heart out here with no one knowing it was me.
but im gonna.
just this once.
so bear with me for a while.
truth is.. im going through my bits of depression at the moment. my heart is in its constant 'dub dub dub dub..' faster than its normal rate. i initially thought that what i needed was a good long weekend.. a longggg very long sleep.. and finally i had that.. and guess what.. the minute i woke up.. that 'dub dub - dub dub' feeling start all over again.. the sleep doesnt help. the rest doesnt help.
there's something needed to be done. im just not sure what it.
life is just starting. and im dreading the looks of it.
im starting to get restless with the life here. with work. with what is expected.
i feel like screaming on top of my voice. to let it all out.
im angry. but im not sure what im angry at.
im sad. but there's nothing really for me to be sad about.
im dissapointed. not just with everything. but at me. with me.
someone may feel the need to ask someone very close to me, 'wtf is wrong with this woman?'
and that someone - i think - should stop doing just that.
sometimes, people blog about themselves without the need of hearing it outside being repeated. being asked. being analysed. being interpreted into something else altogether. being discussed.
ask inside your head if u had to.
analyse inside your head if u had to.
interprete inside your head if u had to.
discuss inside your head if u had to.
i need to work on my self-esteem.
but thats just me.
and its not about you - understanding the need of it.
this is me letting some part of it out.
"I will never know myself
- until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else
- until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything
- till I break away from me
I will break away
and find myself today"
- Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong
- until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else
- until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything
- till I break away from me
I will break away
and find myself today"
- Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong
No comments:
Post a Comment