its only the 13th...

its june. i blame it on june.

its always the hardest month to live.
literally.

its when i had to re-live - reluctantly - parts of my life that i would rather not remembering. not like i never told u b4 about june.. but i dunno why for few years now.. its becoming a 'thing'. -whatever that is - coz i also dun understand any part of it. i do realised that im in my most depressed mood this month - every year.

and its only the 13th.
ugh.

its only gonna get worst in a few days time..

anyway.. put that aside..

im having a financial crisis.. my top wish list now is for money to fall out of nowhere.. to grow on tree (within our house compound - so i can claim ownership) or for some (dead) billionaire to somehow leave his (it has to be a "he" maaaaaaaaa) entire assets (minus whatever liabilities there are) to me..

due to some money management - as in not having proper saving.. and uncontrollable urge to shop like money really grows on tree - im soon gonna face an entire situation all in one month.

people said - get ready your umbrella before it rains -

me??? what rain???
welll... u see.. there are few things that gonna hit me before i can say 'hit me'...

1. my car insurance gonna expired soon - very soon infact.
2. i need to change my car tyres.. in fact it has to be changed during the last service i went. coz, apparently - it was way - way - way overdue its time limit.. their word not mine. in layman terms.. no bunga already..
3. need to service my car.. its over few hundred mileage as it is...
4. need to pay off my mandarin class
5. bali. need i say more?
6. im running out of books to re-read.. (ok i know this shouldnt be here - but its me - remember??) it is a 'situation' also mah.. hahah

this is why our parents always reminded us to save - save - save - every month... and for the first time in years.. im beginning to feel the wisdom behind those advise.. or rather, the pinch of not carrying out whatever wisdom they are trying to instill in me.

i should've saved 50% of my salary (plan BIG people) since the beginning of my working life. but no point of crying over milk yg suda tumpah.

hah!!

i do have some saving saved up. not necessarily for rainy days.. its more like my indulgence fund. for some out of this world trip of a lifetime. and having to dip into that to pay off these unnecessary stuff is really sad. cos its bye bye rome (or wherever exotic place i may desire in the future to run away to).

those list mentioned above should be paid out of my expenses fund. which is fast - very fast - reaching its dangerous limit. which is also the only limit it has all these while.. so - nothing new there..

hahhaha..

i know i'll get through this one a survivor. coz, like my sis LK, i too have a guardian angel (tidak mau kalah bah!!!) somewhere up there (i hope - coz if down there - problem tu!!) looking over me now.. making me feel bad for not saving up like crazy but still help me in the end..

i wonder if he (yes!! my guardian angel is a HE!!) will help me tomorrow.. coz there's this new book... hmmmm....

ugh..

i just cant bear imagine myself budgeting to the max. i like the fact that im able to afford whatever my heart's desire. im glad that im not brand conscious.

some people - the first thing they'll ask u of ur bags - shoes or whatnot is "what brand is that??" at times i feel like kicking them in the head (yeah!! like i can reach only kan..) and ask, "what are you?? paris hilton??"

my idea of budgeting differs from others. i think. the way i look at it.. i skip meal (if i had to) instead i'll buy that big fat novel(s). i skip that one more cup of ice latte (if i had to) - instead i'll buy that big fat novel(s). i skip a movie (which i usually do and wait for VSK to either download or buy dvd) - instead i'll buy that big fat novel(s)..

so - u can actually see a pattern there..

i feel like im only able to breath properly again in august.. after all this is behind me.. then maybe i can buy more and more and more BIG FAT NOVEL..

writers shouldnt be invented. books should be deemed evil.. could it be my financial crisis is due to an over excessive purchase of it?? if the housing industries can make a haywire in the financial crisis - globally - is it highly probable that my main and only problem are books???

could it be??

damn. did i just solved the source of my problem???

in times like this.. i missed the life i had during those college-uni times... even if i had those kosong-sen moments... but at the back of my head, i know for sure i have that someone to fall back on..

ish.. mana bah my koginavan ni.. (ngam ka tu?? hahhhaa).. of course i imagine he got all the funds in the world not to just back me up.. but to add into my indulgence fund - expenses fund - rainy day funds - retirement fund..

hmmmm... wont life be so much meaningful then..
haha.

welll.. lets hope this situation be a lesson to me in the future. which is : never have a 'situation' to happen all in one month.. spread it out...

hehehe..

like i said, its only the 13th.