Shud've - Wud've - Cud've

duh…

November 16th, 2005

is this God’s experiment? in which we have no say..which we’re given paradise, but only for a day.. - LeAnn Rhymes & Elton John

Archive from My so-called life, SK

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3 years ago, i was still in KK... i was in my thinking mode then wondering-considering-contemplating whether i should move back to KL or should i just stay back. 3 years ago, i was in a totally different mind frame. it feels like yesterday - cum to think of it - coz i know exactly what i was feeling when i quoted that song. or some small part of it. funny how life works out the way it does. huh.

Well, its the 16th day of the new month. i know from my previous entries, i wanted this month to come coz the past few months i felt like ........ arggghhh. no matter how independent and how in charge one may seem to be in other part of one's life, its weird that one can allow themself to be weakened by a certain 'situation'

"jump"

how high?"

i'm not proud of it. nor am i liking it. i dun like (** hate is a very strong word) every thing about it. but, whatever reasons i had even those that seems to justify the situation, its just merely excuses. an aforethought to make me feel good about myself. and i simply cannot condone to this act of self-depreciating and under-value'ing my worth.

as much i missed "dancing" around the same place to get that little bit of acceptance and that sense of belonging - sometimes one need to face the music & dance accordingly. coz there is no point doing the tango when hard core rock music is in the air.

to end this

i have fought the good fight,

have finished the race,

have kept the faith

- 2 Timothy 4:7

u have a nice day now k.