i'm not really in the market of looking new job. i kinda like my job. i'm comfortable with my job. i can do it 'almost' with my eyes closed. thats what people said when they know their job inside & out.
well, for one thing, it pays bills, rent and what not.
it provides me a life-style. though not as much.
you see, there's still this thing at the back of my mind that i should be earning 5 figure salary by now.
so, for that reason, i keep my option open.
there were a few times when big corporation asking to view my resume in jobstreet. but i always rejected it, knowing that its not for me.
and when an old friend called me telling me there's an opening at this 'international org' - an international 'NGO' more like it, i didnt even think twice. next thing i know, i was perfecting my resume, write a short and direct to the point cover letter.. and walah..
few days later, i was called for an interview.
the world suddenly makes sense again. at first. i wanted to go into this particular org for as long as i can remember. and as the days go nearer i find myself saying otherwise. i mean, im already comfortable with my current job, no?
thing is, im ok with routine. coz thats what my life is. but i hate it at the same time. its like one big conflict inside me. i want this and i dont want it. i want that but how can i be sure that i really wanted it, if i dont have it yet.
so, that day.. i went after that young dreams i had.
after waiting for what seems like hours.. i was brought into this small room and was given 2 pages of questionaires to answer.
okkkkaaaaaaaaayy... was suppose to write few essays about international stuff that i had strong opinion on at the moment. thats it man. i tell myself. die die die...
i mean like duh?? i dun even read the news.. 'headlines' doesnt count and it sure doesnt come in handy that day.
being in the line where 'jual temberang' is a MUST-HAVE - i managed to write a few very short essays on stuff i knew nothing about - and yeah. one paragraph about me, which i also know nothing about. but im guessing this is where i sell myself. coz going for an interview is like marketing - at least thats what people always said. u need to market yourself well.
and i hate marketing. cant you see the irony? they just gonna take me as i am. blur and all.
and i had been to few interviews. and that few interviews, i nailed it with just being myself.
then came in the panel. 3 of them asking me, the whys, the wheres and the whos...
it was exhausting! why i put myself in this position ?? why God why??
i mean, why should i have dreams?? why do i want this job? what have i done so far for those international stuff that i feel so strongly about?
i shouldnt have reasons for all their whys.. i do stuff coz ... just becoz... i dun do a thing for pilaks in kk coz for one thing - thats just it. should i be giving out money to them? i asked. should i built a shelter for them? again, i asked. tell me, what should i do when they are just there growing in numbers as the day goes by and not making the economy any better and making the place i called home not as safe as it should be??
but, why didnt you do anything about it?? again i was asked.
do you do anything about it?? you drew distinction on these people, yes?? - by using a standard test - so what, as a layman, standard should i differentiate these people?? i dun go throw rocks at them. at least thats one good thing right?
yes.. but why didnt you do anything about it??
argghhhh...
at the end of that one hour - i told them this is an eye opener.. little did they know that i meant something else altogether. we breath, we live and we dream doing the thing we did, i was told. yeahhh well, i do have compassion for those less 'lucky' people but i dont breath, i dont live and i definitely dont dream.
shake their hands.
and thats when i said goodbye to this particular dream.
well, for one thing, it pays bills, rent and what not.
it provides me a life-style. though not as much.
you see, there's still this thing at the back of my mind that i should be earning 5 figure salary by now.
so, for that reason, i keep my option open.
there were a few times when big corporation asking to view my resume in jobstreet. but i always rejected it, knowing that its not for me.
and when an old friend called me telling me there's an opening at this 'international org' - an international 'NGO' more like it, i didnt even think twice. next thing i know, i was perfecting my resume, write a short and direct to the point cover letter.. and walah..
few days later, i was called for an interview.
the world suddenly makes sense again. at first. i wanted to go into this particular org for as long as i can remember. and as the days go nearer i find myself saying otherwise. i mean, im already comfortable with my current job, no?
thing is, im ok with routine. coz thats what my life is. but i hate it at the same time. its like one big conflict inside me. i want this and i dont want it. i want that but how can i be sure that i really wanted it, if i dont have it yet.
so, that day.. i went after that young dreams i had.
after waiting for what seems like hours.. i was brought into this small room and was given 2 pages of questionaires to answer.
okkkkaaaaaaaaayy... was suppose to write few essays about international stuff that i had strong opinion on at the moment. thats it man. i tell myself. die die die...
i mean like duh?? i dun even read the news.. 'headlines' doesnt count and it sure doesnt come in handy that day.
being in the line where 'jual temberang' is a MUST-HAVE - i managed to write a few very short essays on stuff i knew nothing about - and yeah. one paragraph about me, which i also know nothing about. but im guessing this is where i sell myself. coz going for an interview is like marketing - at least thats what people always said. u need to market yourself well.
and i hate marketing. cant you see the irony? they just gonna take me as i am. blur and all.
and i had been to few interviews. and that few interviews, i nailed it with just being myself.
then came in the panel. 3 of them asking me, the whys, the wheres and the whos...
it was exhausting! why i put myself in this position ?? why God why??
i mean, why should i have dreams?? why do i want this job? what have i done so far for those international stuff that i feel so strongly about?
i shouldnt have reasons for all their whys.. i do stuff coz ... just becoz... i dun do a thing for pilaks in kk coz for one thing - thats just it. should i be giving out money to them? i asked. should i built a shelter for them? again, i asked. tell me, what should i do when they are just there growing in numbers as the day goes by and not making the economy any better and making the place i called home not as safe as it should be??
but, why didnt you do anything about it?? again i was asked.
do you do anything about it?? you drew distinction on these people, yes?? - by using a standard test - so what, as a layman, standard should i differentiate these people?? i dun go throw rocks at them. at least thats one good thing right?
yes.. but why didnt you do anything about it??
argghhhh...
at the end of that one hour - i told them this is an eye opener.. little did they know that i meant something else altogether. we breath, we live and we dream doing the thing we did, i was told. yeahhh well, i do have compassion for those less 'lucky' people but i dont breath, i dont live and i definitely dont dream.
shake their hands.
and thats when i said goodbye to this particular dream.
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